laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
