if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
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