Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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