Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
