Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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