Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
send nudes
from the living room?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
