so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
