I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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