Im at strip club and am horny
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
