Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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