Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
