i think my tv is drunk
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
