Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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