You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
