His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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