youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The police scanner is talking about you again....
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
