Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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