Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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