The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize