why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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