The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
