i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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