Don't you send me to vm
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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