return my video game
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
