I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize