That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize