the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
