It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Your cock deserves a montage
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
