I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
