All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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