I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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