Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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