What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
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Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
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I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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