So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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