I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize
