I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
