their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i was born a porn star she said
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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