You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
