dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
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so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
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I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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