i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
