there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
