she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
