Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
