thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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