She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
