hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
