Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
