Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize