Only a mothe r could love this liver
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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