Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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