Quick, to the slutcave!
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
