he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
