Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
