just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
how drunk are you?
Several
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
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