He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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