Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We need a shit load of segways right now
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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