So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
