he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
