i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
