I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
