if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
We need a shit load of segways right now
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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