Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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