apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
