My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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